Friday, September 9, 2011

A New Me

Posted by: Brian Griffith
I often think about what my new identity in Christ means for me. When we accept Christ into our lives, we are given a new heart, and the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us. I often think about my new heart; and how even I can see the difference from less than a year ago.

A year ago, even though I was exploring the truth of christianity, I was not a Christian  A year ago I was a very hard hearted and selfish person.  While I loved my wife dearly at that time [and love her even more so now], I found it difficult to serve her. I promised her a few years earlier that I would quit smoking- a year ago I was still breaking that promise. I'd tell her I would do something and then not do it. I would get mad at her quite often if I didn't feel like she was doing her end of the house work.  Between all that and my tendency to go full on drama queen when I'd get drunk, it's only by God's grace that she ever married me at all. But about 11 months ago I met Jesus, and my life began to change.

The week of or the week after coming to Christ, I can't remember exactly, I learned my grandfather had terminal lung cancer that was essentially untreatable. It could be treated but the best it would do is extend his life a few months- there was no hope of recovery. The old me would have simply distanced myself from him, preparing myself for the inevitable, so that when it did come, I wouldn't feel so bad about it. But the new me wouldn't let that happen. I shared my testimony with my grandpa, and tried to get him to meet Jesus. Unfortunately that didn't happen and he passed without knowing Him, and something happened to me that hadn't happened in years: I cried.  I'm 28- the last time I remember crying was when I was a freshman in high school. Knowing my grandfather's fate, I broke down in our kitchen and cried. My heart was [and still is] absolutely broken for my grandfather. Then a few weeks ago when I tried sharing this story with our bible study, I broke down and cried again. I'd had a point in telling it- that point being don't make a half hearted effort in sharing the gospel- but that particular week it had been weighing so heavily on my heart that I just could not help myself. I cried in front of people that I'd only met that night.

I think anybody from our bible study who was around a year ago when I first started coming around can testify that I NEVER would have broken down like that in front of other people, apart from Christ. My pride never would have allowed for it; furthermore, my emotions toward my grandfather wouldn't have either. Sure, I loved him before I was a Christian, but I didn't love him as strongly as I did after coming to Christ. And something that occurred to me after bible study that night, was if that's how heart broken I was, having only known Christ for a few months- how does God feel when one of his children turns his back on Him? How does God feel when he has to judge one of his children to spend eternity in Hell? I can only conclude that God feels much, much worse than any of us can understand or comprehend.

Next month I'll have been a Christian for a year; and I can already see one relationship that my choice to follow Christ may cost me. See, a lot of people who follow Christ will lie to you. "You're sick? Come to Jesus, he'll heal you." "You're depressed? Come to Jesus, he'll make you happy." You get the idea. And I'm not saying that Jesus doesn't heal us or that Jesus doesn't make us happy, or rather help us find joy. But too many people promote this idea that following Jesus makes your life perfect and that you'll never experience suffering again and this can be just as bad as telling people you shouldn't worship Jesus at all. Because then your friend meets Jesus and not everything is perfect and your friend is left confused. The bottom line is, Christ suffered and died for our sin- you should EXPECT to suffer for Christ. It doesn't mean that you will, but expect to, and prepare your heart for it; so that when the time comes you're not one of those people who questions why God is "punishing" you when in reality, he's giving you the opportunity to glorify Him.

The relationship I speak of is the one with my brother. He's not blood but I love him just the same. He's never known a good father; so he hears God is our father and he runs away. He has questions, or at least tells me he does, but won't ask them. He shows little regard for anybody but himself. He's very proud and desires to be the center of attention. When I first became a Christian he was happy for me. But as I've continued to share what I'm learning with him, he's pushed farther away. When I do get any kind of response from him, it's usually very hateful. Not towards me, but towards God and Christianity. I've prayed for him nearly every day since coming to Christ, that he would meet Jesus as well; but lately I've been praying that my heart be prepared for the possibility that he will never come to Christ and furthermore, that my decision to follow Jesus may cost my lifelong friendship with him. I question if I'm ready to suffer in that way; but the reason I'm preparing to face it is because I know that what Jesus offers me is much more valuable than clinging to a dead relationship with someone I love.  It's not that I wish our relationship to end, but I'm not who I used to be, and Jesus is now the hope for my life.

This is how I know that I am a new creation in Christ. A year ago I never would've been prepared to end my relationship with my brother. A year ago I never would have told my grandfather how much I love him. A year ago I wouldn't share the gospel with total strangers who I pick up on the side of the road. A year ago I wouldn't have invited a prostitute to church.

With my new heart has come new desires. Those desires are anchored in Christ, who I strive to please. No, I'm not perfect. No, I'm not sinless and in fact, some days I am deliberately sinning. Not because I feel God owes me but because I still get selfish sometimes. But over the past year I know my heart has changed because I love people who, even after knowing them for more than a year, I would not love apart from Christ. I know my heart has changed because I desire to serve Christ and the people I love; and I want other people to meet Jesus and experience the life that he gives. I know my heart has changed because I want to manage money better so that I would be a better steward of the resources that God has entrusted to me [and my wife].

Who or what you live for determines your identity, both for yourself and for the people who look at you. If you live to save the planet, your life will reflect that. If you live to serve others, your life will reflect that. If you live for yourself, your life will reflect that. Make no mistake friends, living for Jesus is the best life. It's not always the easiest life, it's not always the most glamorous life, it's not always the wealthiest or happiest life; but it is the best life, because in truly living for Christ, you will rejoice in Christ and the opportunities He gives you. And your life will reflect that to others; and by God's grace, they will want to meet Jesus as well.

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